Loneliness has never been more comforting

I don't care anymore

So I was talking with my wife earlier today about something important in our lives and her response to me upset me.  She was justified and correct to respond like she did.  I'm not upset with her for her reactions to the things I said.  What is bothering me now is that reaction caused me to feel depressed and I wanted to talk to one of my friends about it.  It was then that I realized I didn't have any friends I could talk to about it.

I know I have friends, but for over 15 years, the only person I have been able to talk to about pretty much anything has been my wife and no one else.  Unlike most people, I don't have family or close friends that I can call and talk to about stuff when I don't want to talk to my wife about something.  

Since that is the way I have lived most of my life, it shouldn't come as a shock to me, but when you are depressed and realize you are 34 years old and there's really only 1 person you can turn to, it comes as a real shock.

Hopefully for anyone who actually sees this, you won't think I need to seek therapy or something.  Although that is probably true, I just wanted to write about the fact that sometimes a person can feel really lonely and that feeling by itself can be enough to perpetuate further depression.  There have been many times in the past that I have almost committed suicide (before I met my wife) because I started to feel a little down and the more I tried to bring myself out of it, the further down I went because I didn't have anyone to turn to.  That is not the case this time.  This time, the feeling just hit kind of hard because I am really tired since I didn't sleep well before I woke up today.

If you find yourself in a similar situation where you wish you could talk to someone, but can't seem to find anyone to talk to, I can only say I wish you the best of luck and make it past what ever troubles you.  If you know someone who struggles with something like what I am going through right now, make sure they know they can call you.  Just knowing someone is there can be enough to turn the day around and brighten someones otherwise darkened day.

And remember........