2 drink funeral?

Lately I've been thinking about my own funeral service and how I can make it less of a sad event and more of a gathering of friends having a decent or even a good time.

I had a thought though.  Would it be wrong to write in my will or whatever that there is a 2 drink minimum at my funeral service?  I mean, if I can get people tipsy or even drunk, they are more likely to laugh than cry the entire time.  At least that's how I think.

Also, I decided a long time ago I want this song played at the service because I love the song and I think it might bring a little easiness or lessen the sadness at my service.  Of course, I am assuming people will be sad to see me go when in reality, people will most likely rejoice at the idea they will never have to hear me say something rude or stupid again.

I know this is a weird post, but seriously, is the drink idea a bad idea?  I don't think it is.

Blood Milk and Sky

Found this song on my PC recently and decided I would share it.  I hope you all like it as much as I do.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKDsSuMrpj0

Which came first? The sandwich or the swastika?

I have no real opinion on this story, but someone at work asked "Which came first?" when I mentioned the story so I responded with the following.  "The sandwich or the swastika?"

That got a few laughs and mostly head shakes in shame.  Anyway.  Here is the story.

http://www.wcti12.com/news/customer-finds-nazi-symbol-on-her-chicken-sandwich/27401580

Bear, not beer. That's important.

This has been one of my favorite songs since I first heard it.  I wanted to post a link to it so I could find it easily in the future.

Green Jelly - Bear Song

Recurring things

Well, it is that time of year again.  This year is a little different than the past 14 years.  This is the 15th year this same thing has happened.  I really do feel blessed because until I met a certain person, the only thing that had stayed in my life for 15 years was depression (and a few freinds, but pointing that out isn't as dramatic as saying depression was the only constant for 15 years or more of my life).

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary (I can never seem to spell that word right.  I usually spell it aniversary so I'm really close, but still not quite there).  I really do feel blessed that I met my wife and even more blessed that I met her when I did.  She has literally saved my life more than once and will probably do it again.

With all that said, I will end this as follows:

I love you Katy

Angie's List fails on me

I'm not trying to pick on Angie's list here, but their commercials fail to reach me.  Here's why.  Every time I see the Angie's list commercial with the green balloons on TV, the balloons on TV remind me of the blimp at hockey games that drop coupons for a free burrito at Chipotle so I think of eating Chipotle for free which makes me want to eat Chipotle.  I know I like it so I don't need to use Angie's list to check and see if I should eat there.  Hence add failure.

Have a nice day.

not the commercial I watched that inspired this post, but funny

Another one of those days.......

I am nothing

I am having another one of those days where I just don't seem to care much about anything.  As such, I decided to post the link above to a sad song with a good beat you kind of want to dance to.

I don't know what is causing me to have these repeated days where I feel down and bleh.  Maybe its a sign I need to move my fat ass and get some exercise.  Maybe its a sign I need therapy.   Maybe its just that with the exception of a couple of friends and my family (wife and kids), I really am just as alone as I feel.  (This last idea seems to be more on point than I think many people are willing to admit.)

I've spent most of my life hiding and suppressing feelings I have just so I can carry on to whatever the next thing might be.  Ignoring feelings of loneliness is a bad thing because they can fester and become a serious issue later on.  However, in the short term, being able to not focus on the things that are bringing me down and being able to focus on other things like work or eating or playing a video game have gotten me this far.  I have a feeling that living like that will continue to last me until I die.

I'll leave this post with some of the lyrics from the song posted above:

Falling victim from neglect
Designed thoughts and intellect
Forgotten and displaced
The crux of my dismay

I feel nothing
I am nothing
I feel nothing
I am nothing

How deep I descend?
Until I reach my end?
How deep I descend?

How deep I descend?
Until I reach my end?
How deep I descend?

Deeper into this abyss
Weighted down and sinking fast
Life did not offer me
More than false destiny

EDIT:

 So I figured out what set off the depression and the original post.  There is someone at work that I would like to be friends with and said person is friendly to me, but only when I actively interact with her.  If I don't start a conversation with her or I am not part of a group that she is interacting with already, she seems to intentionally try to show indifference to me.  If I make a joke, she will laugh.  If I say hello to her, she will say hello back to me.  However, if I sit there minding my own business, she won't start any conversation with me.  She will walk up and start a conversation with pretty much everyone else at work, but she doesn't seem to care if I am there or not.  I've been nice to her.  I've given her compliments and even bought her food once just because she had never had food from where I was going and I wanted to do something nice for her (I will bring other people food all the time because that's just the person I am).

The reason this set me off on a "downward spiral" earlier is because I picked up on the indifference, but I didn't realize that's what it was nor did I realize at first that I was feeling it from this person.  Hopefully at this point, I can ignore her indifference towards me and just accept it as a personality trait rather than something based in ill will towards me.

 

Loneliness has never been more comforting

I don't care anymore

So I was talking with my wife earlier today about something important in our lives and her response to me upset me.  She was justified and correct to respond like she did.  I'm not upset with her for her reactions to the things I said.  What is bothering me now is that reaction caused me to feel depressed and I wanted to talk to one of my friends about it.  It was then that I realized I didn't have any friends I could talk to about it.

I know I have friends, but for over 15 years, the only person I have been able to talk to about pretty much anything has been my wife and no one else.  Unlike most people, I don't have family or close friends that I can call and talk to about stuff when I don't want to talk to my wife about something.  

Since that is the way I have lived most of my life, it shouldn't come as a shock to me, but when you are depressed and realize you are 34 years old and there's really only 1 person you can turn to, it comes as a real shock.

Hopefully for anyone who actually sees this, you won't think I need to seek therapy or something.  Although that is probably true, I just wanted to write about the fact that sometimes a person can feel really lonely and that feeling by itself can be enough to perpetuate further depression.  There have been many times in the past that I have almost committed suicide (before I met my wife) because I started to feel a little down and the more I tried to bring myself out of it, the further down I went because I didn't have anyone to turn to.  That is not the case this time.  This time, the feeling just hit kind of hard because I am really tired since I didn't sleep well before I woke up today.

If you find yourself in a similar situation where you wish you could talk to someone, but can't seem to find anyone to talk to, I can only say I wish you the best of luck and make it past what ever troubles you.  If you know someone who struggles with something like what I am going through right now, make sure they know they can call you.  Just knowing someone is there can be enough to turn the day around and brighten someones otherwise darkened day.

And remember........

Damn, it feels good to be a "Burper"

At this point, some of you have that song from the printer scene in the movie Office Space playing in your head.  At this point almost all of you have that scene from that movie playing in your head now.

Printer Scene found here (click to see)

(I love the internet)

What I am trying to say is that I love the fact that unlike some prissy people, I actually let out a burp when I am at home or alone in my car.  Why?  Because it feels really good sometimes.  If you haven't done it in a long time, I suggest right before you burp, put your arms up like the letter Y or the letter H and let it rip.  The relief will be awesome.

Another fun thing you can try while burping is that if you make the letter "B" right as  you begin to burp and do nothing else, but let the burp go through, you will actually say the word "burp" as you are burping.  I think this is hilarious and hardly anyone knows about it.

If you have any other fun ideas to try while burping, please leave a comment.

Forgotten Nerd!

So, tonight at work, we have 1 person making tickets for everyone to work and said person is assigning them out to each tech to work.  There is myself, the "nerd" of the group.  There is the 3 football fans who I will refer to as the "jocks" at this point" and then there is the one female on our shift who is making tickets.  I will call her "the pretty girl" (but let's be honest here.  She has this mole on her face and that's about all I can see most of the time).

Tonight, pretty girl is making tickets and giving them out to be worked.  Somehow, she keeps giving them to the jocks and seems to keep forgetting the nerd is here.  For once in my life I am happy the pretty girl has forgotten the nerd.

LMFAO.