Today's topic:  Strippers (or grouchy women)

So, a while back one of my co-workers asked me what I was thinking and I said the first thing that came to mind.  I got the strangest looks that I think I have gotten at work so far.  I replied to my co-worker "Why is it that strippers get so pissed when you try to slip a cheeseburger from the dollar menu in their G string?"  I still have no idea where that thought came from, but I'm glad I had it.  It brought a smile to me face.  Still does to be honest.

(There was going to be a pic of a stick figure guy trying to hand

a stick figure stripper a cheeseburger, but I have no artistic talent.

Just use your imagination.)

Let's try a little warped logic here okay?  To a homeless person, a dollar or a cheeseburger is pretty much the same thing except that with a cheeseburger, you have saved them the trip to buy it.  I figure if a dollar is good enough to buy a cheeseburger, why isn't a cheeseburger good enough by itself?  There's logic there right?

Honestly, since I had that random ass thought, I have wanted to take a bag of about 5 cheeseburgers to a strip joint and see what really happens.  Worst case I get thrown out.  Best case, I get to see a stripper get all greasy which is kinda like getting oiled up so it works for me.  That and I have a feeling that a greasy stripper would taste better than an oiled stripper.  It's not like when a stripper shoves your face in her breasts that you haven't stuck your tongue out at some point so if you are going to get a "taste" shouldn't it be a good "taste"?

Seeing the kind of things that have been done with stuff like cucumbers, maybe strippers would be happier if I chose a different kind of food product.  Something like a banana or a cucumber.  Possibly squash?

(Then again, maybe not.)

From what I have heard, most strippers don't appreciate the 1 dollar coins either.  I can't understand why a woman would get so upset when someone is just giving her money for basically nothing.  Okay, yes, the stripper is showing me her almost naked body (or completely naked in some cases), but then again, she is also dancing and every woman I've met loves to go dancing (more or less).  So on that note, shouldn't she just be happy that I am there appreciating her beauty and talent?

Now personally, I have never known anyone who actually went home with a stripper, but supposedly it does happen.  I can only imagine what kind of nightmare that ends up being if the guy can only afford a couple of cheese burgers instead of fillet Mignon.